Nonverbal communication can be very difficult to read and interpret especially when each individual is unique in their own ways. Nonverbal communication is both universal and cultural therefore when interpreting a person's act, we all must be mindful and careful; they are open to misinterpretation.
I will admit that I have been wrong about the meaning of someone's nonverbal message before. Actually I've been wrong a lot of times. I always assume that just because a guy and a girl is hanging out, hitting each other, and making eye contact, it means that they like each other. Sometimes they do like each other and sometimes they are really good friends with one another. Another example would be the time when I misinterpreted my boyfriends act of kindness for acts of flirting. I am not much of a jealous girl but I sometimes identified him being nice as him gesturing some kind of flirtatious moves towards another girl. But now that I've known him for a quite a long time, I don't feel that way anymore because I've been able to study his nonverbal communication and now I am able to interpret his actions with little errors.
To increase accuracy with our interpretation, we must do at least three things. First we must check the context of his nonverbal communication. For an example, if my boyfriend is being nice to a girl, I need to find out why and what was the circumstances to be able to interpret his acts of kindness. In this specific situation, the girl was having trouble with her family and it is affecting her schoolwork. So he decided to help her understand the lectures. Second, we must compare the behavior to baseline behavior. For an example, I have to make sure that kindness is a virtue in my boyfriend's personality. If it is, then he is just a nice person and he doesn't mean to send any messages of being flirtatious to the girl. But if he is not usually a nice person and then all the sudden he is nice to this girl, then we might have a problem. Because I have been with my boyfriend for a long, long time, I can see that he is a natural benevolent person and is always lending helping hand to others. Third, we must check our understanding by asking for verbal feedback. I always ask my boyfriend what his behavior means and if I am interpreting his actions correctly. If I am wrong or correct, either way it improves our communication and thus strengthen our relationship.
Other ways of improving accuracy of nonverbal communication is to get to know the person better find out why they do certain things. Sometimes there are nonverbal communication that are intentional and some that are unintentional; we must be able to distinguish between the two to be able to correctly interpret nonverbal communication.
Signing out,
Events Dreamer
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Hi Friend!
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to your post. I have never been a very jealous person, but I have found myself reading a little too much into nonverbal communication when it comes to my boyfriend and the people he hangs out with. As you know, he is a very friendly person and it took me awhile to understand that him being nice to a girl did not mean he was flirting with her. Our nonverbal communication is very different when it comes to interacting with people of the opposite sex. I will often act cold and not flirty at all to avoid any kind of confusion. Where as my boyfriend is super friendly to everyone. Like you, it took me some time to get used to our differences and now things are much better and I don't stress about those things anymore. If I'm confused or have questions about his actions I just ask him. Talking it out really helps clear the air.
Have a great day and I'll see you around :)
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI think you brought up some great things in your post. I too have misinterpreted my spouses non verbal cues early in our relationship. I thought because he was not acting like a creep trying to grope me that he was not interested in me. Ends up there are a few gentlemen left in the world. This assumption I made could have cost me my future relationship if I had not been willing to see further past our initial dates. Nonverbal communication is so hard to decipher because of all of the different types of people in the world. Our diversity sometimes seperates us communication wise rather than bringing us closer together.
Capones Mom
Hi Events Dreamer! Good post. :) Do you think it's appropriate to ask a person what they meant by a certain action or facial expression? In what situations is it, or isn't appropriate to ask? Also, to what extent do you think people are aware of their nonverbal messages?
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